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The Art of Listening: How Active Listening Transforms Relationships
Think about the last time you felt truly heard. Not just tolerated while you talked or nodded at while someone waited for their turn, but actually heard and genuinely felt like the other person had received what you said? How long ago was that? And more importantly, how often do you offer that to…
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Post-Graduation Slump: Why You Feel Lost After Graduation (And How To Reorient)
You turned in your last papers, donned your cap and gown, then crossed that stage to receive your diploma. You did it! You graduated. But after the graduation parties are over and the last of congratulatory cards from relatives arrive, something inside feels uneasy. Everyone told you that this was the beginning of the…
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How to Calm Down When You’re Activated: Emotional Regulation Tools That Actually Work
A few weeks ago I wrote about why we react the way we do when we are triggered and briefly explained how we can move out our window of tolerance into hyperarousal or hypo-arousal when we are activated. Today we’re getting practical, because understanding why we get activated is only half the equation. The…
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Why Do I React That Way? Understanding Your Emotional Triggers in a Polarized World
You scroll past a headline and your chest tightens. Someone at dinner says something you disagree with and you feel your jaw clench. Or maybe it’s the opposite; you go quiet, feel yourself go numb, and check out of a conversation you know matters to you. Sound familiar? You’re Not Overreacting, You’re Wired This…
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Connection And Play: Essentials for “A Life Worth Living”
Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking to nearly 100 undergrad students at the University of Washington. A dear friend of mine is a professor of religion and he invited me to speak to his class on the topic of what makes “a life worth living.” The basic premise is, as the course…
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You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle It: Why Asking for Help Is the Bravest Thing You Can Do
My kids have been on a space kick lately. Ever since the Artemis II launch captured their imaginations, we’ve been watching everything we can find about space travel. Recently we sat down together to watch Apollo 13, and there’s a scene near the end that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. If…
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Grief is Carrying the Weight, Not Dropping The Bag
We all have experienced grief and loss at one time or another. Truly, there is no one on earth who is untouched by death, loss, harm, and heartache. Life is messy; people are complicated; At times the world can feel broken and hard. The invitation to grief is near constant throughout our lifetime and…
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Both/And: Moving From Black-And-White Thinking Toward Integration
Last week, my colleague Maggie wrote about the paralysis that can come from trying to hold all that is happening in our world. Her post got me thinking about something that often underlies that paralysis: the way our minds, when under stress, tend to sort the world into two neat piles. Good and bad.…
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Think Global, Serve Local: Finding Ways to Move From Overload to Action
When you experience information overload and emotional exhaustion from the constant onslaught of the global news, focusing on the things you can do in your local community serves as a way to stay grounded and connected.
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Why Therapy Takes Time (and why that’s a good thing)
A few weeks ago, Maggie and I returned to our alma matter to share how a specific course had influenced our training and continued to impact our clinical work. We reconnected with former professors and classmates, as well as new new students who were just beginning the same journey we had once been on.…
